Your RDA of Irony

Happy New Year

First, let me wish myself a Happy New Year. (You, too–when applicable.) In the Jewish chronology, this new year is 5769. Of course, that’s just the retail value. Between us, at most it should be 3495.

So, looking back at the last year, what were the high points of being Jewish? Of course, we are all thrilled that Amy Winehouse is still alive. It also is flattering to think that Lindsey Lohan is dating a Jewish girl and might consider converting. (That should more than compensate for losing Gustav Mahler to Catholicism.)

And you cannot describe our pride in knowing that Joseph Lieberman is John McCain’s Rabbi Richelieu. We should also proclaim the tutorial brillance of William Kristol if Sarah Palin now knows the names of three European capital cities.

We also take vicarious pride in Nicolas Sarkosy. The President of France may only be one quarter Jewish but he is 100 percent pushy. You would not want to be in front of him at the lox platter. I could imagine him starring in the French production of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

This year’s Nobel Prizes were a bit unnerving, however. Gentiles won in all the real categories–even medicine. Fortunately, we always have economics as a consolation prize. And the winners–and our saviors–were Leon Hurwicz, Eric Maskin and Roger Myerson.

However, the Smartest Jew of the Year has to be actress Rachel Weisz. She took one look at the script of “The Mummy, part III” and decided to let someone else have the role. (Poor Maria Bello)

So, it is another year for Western Civilization’s Longest Running Road Show. Still under original management!

  1. Bob Kincaid says:

    And the 11th Commandment? “Never pay retail!” Me, I’ll up your ante to 3769, since that’s when one of your boys decided to go and get himself martyred and inadvertently wound up rearranging the calendar for the whole western world.

    Waterslides, calendars, bingo parlors. And Tammy Faye a walking martyr to the cosmetics industry. I’m thinking Yeshua would be a little surprised at all he accomplished without really trying.

  2. SwanShadow says:

    L’shana tova, Eugene! I hope the coming year bring you and yours all the best.

    And is Joe Lieberman still Jewish? I thought he converted to McCainism.

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