Your RDA of Irony

Eugene Explains His Theory of Relativity

I did have the perfect audience.

Me: In “Oppenheimer” Tom Conti played you, adhering to the Hollywood casting of unattractive Italians as Jews.

Bert: I should be grateful it wasn’t John Turturro.

Me: Well, you were supposed to be likable. As a corollary, attractive Jews are cast as Italian. James Caan in “The Godfather”. Passing off Bernard Schwartz as a Tony

Bert: Edward G, Robinson was attractive?

Me: All of his Italians were unattractive.

Bert: So, Mr. Authenticity, who would you have cast as me? Seth Rogen? Jeff Goldblum?

Me: You know them?

Bert: Leonardo tells me that Heaven had streaming long before television did. By the way, we were watching you on Jeopardy. Of course, I was rooting for you.

Me: Was Leonardo?

Bert: No, he and Fermi were for Bob Verini. They can be tribal, too.

Me: Whom would you like to portray you? Daniel Day-Lewis would convey your brilliance, if in an ostentatious way.

Bert: Actually, I would prefer Jack Black or Ben Stiller. I like being adorable.

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