Your RDA of Irony


Upon arriving in the United States, Pope Benedict found himself forced to attend an audience with George Bush. Here is the likely transcript….

Commandude Bush: Ya know, Poppie, ya oughta be confessing to me. Why aren’t ya supporting us in Iraq? The Crusades were your idea.

Pope: Ve lost der crusades.

Dude: Ya did? So ya let the terrorists win?

Pope: Actually, everywun said ve vere der terrorists.

Dude: Don’t need that loser talk! And I’m gonna give ya a second chance to join my team.

Pope: I prefer mein coach.

Dude: Ya haven’t heard my offer, yet. How would ya like a seat on the Supreme Court? I think that ya’re pretty reliable on pro-life, and the Cadalik Church ought to be pro-corporation. Your guys invented it.

Pope: I am not a lawyer.

Dude: But who’s gonna vote against ya? Besides, ya can judge on all them child-molestation cases. Save the Church a lot of money. In fact, if ya need any cash, it seems we might owe ya some. My lawyers–smart Jews, ya don’t know what ya’re missing–anyway they tell me your folks have the original patent on waterboarding. So, I guess every time we use it, we have to pay ya a fee. We could be talkin’ some serious money.

Pope: So, as der patent holders, ve can insist that you schtop vaterboarding.

Dude: Don’t ya get high and mighty on me. A man who dresses like my mother! I can have ya in Guantanamo faster than ya can say….whatever ya say in Cadalik. I’ll just tell people ya made a pass at me.

Pope: You vouldn’t dare.

Dude: Fox News already has the story–and they are just waitin’. And I’ll punch ya in the mouth to make it look real.

Pope: All right, I vill say something encouraging about you und Iraq.

Dude: And ya’ll demand Cadaliks vote Republican and endorse Jeb as Vice President.

Pope: Dis is der second time dat I have surrendered to Americans. 1945 vas easier.

Dude: That’s when we still had the Geneva Convention.

  1. Bob Kincaid says:

    Y’know, Eugene, if I was the Dalai Lama, I’d feel a little Henny Youngman-ish. “Nevah got a dinnuh!”

    I am absolutely astonished to know that our taxpayer dollars are being used to fete a religious leader whose policies are antithetical to a great majority of the people footing the bill for the dinner.

    What a country!

  2. But Bob, are you referring to the Pope or the Commandude?

  3. Peggles says:

    Be very careful about insulting Big Bennie! You haf relatives in der old country?

  4. I wouldn’t have any relatives left in Deutschland or Eastern Europe. German efficiency, you know.

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