Your RDA of Irony

My Thanks

Ossian_Receiving_the_Ghosts_of_French_Heroes_-_WGA09512 Here I am thanking my heroic volunteers who campaigned for me in the Tournament of the Decayed.  Without your creativity and energy, I would have been some garrulous old man with an audience limited to me.  Let me begin my thanks.

First, you had no idea that Karen could be so annoying–all those emails telling you to vote for me.  But how could you refuse her?  People who never met me ended up pledging their lives, fortunes and sacred honor to resurrect me on Jeopardy.

Just think of those delightful posters (alias memes, so I am told).  Let me introduce my talented mentor Nadine Eastwood;  she gave me two dimensions—and in color.  I am probably just a figment of her imagination.

Then I had the support of Heaven or at least my synagogue.  Yes, the people who would not trust me to write a Purim skit based on Jane Austen (“Tribe and Prejudice”) still showed touching support in this campaign.  “I had no idea that you were intelligent” as so many of them said; I had to explain the difference between an idiot and a lunatic.  Special thanks to our wonderful Cantor Vicky Glick.  She always knew I was a lunatic.

Did you know that I have supporters under the age of 40?  No, I am not counting pugs.  (Jeopardy didn’t either, alas).  Any semblance to a landslide at Highland Park High School is due to the drive and enthusiasm of Dahlia Cohen–who is now entitled to a free history term paper.

My campaign even received publicity on television. My impresario is Michael Hastings.  I am always on stage; he realized that I needed some cameras.  Thank you, Michael.  True, the camera showed my bald spot; but I am still gorgeous by Jeopardy standards.

Would you like me to list the hundreds of old friends who encouraged me?  Mike and Sue from grade school…Doreen from an old job…. Eric, Merritt and Cat from Jeopardy…Really, I am tempted to start a cult.

Now, am I forgetting anything?  Oh, yes, the election outcome.  Sony will not let me tell you–at least until December.  However, I can divulge the voting procedure…

Doge Ball

Once again, thank you!




  1. Michele says:

    It’s going to be annoying to have to keep my fingers crossed “at least until December”! Addressing holiday cards will be compromised. Never the less, thinking positive thoughts for you.

    • Eugene Finerman says:

      I am keeping my fingers Star-of-Davided; that really risks arthritis. Thank you for your good wishes and digital discomfort.


  2. Fingers Star-of-Davided?

    If Jeopardy falls through, I just happen to know an agent pitching a shadow-finger puppeteer reality road show.

  3. Gerald Ritter says:

    Wonderful, laughter on a Monday morning. looking forward to a Jeopardy announcement that will cause dancing in the streets.

  4. Eugene! I can’t take the suspense for another entire month!

    Thankfully I’ll have a houseful for Thanksgivukkah (yes, it is a real holiday): followed by an onslaught on Richard’s relatives the following week for Family Club to keep busy.

    I hope Alex Trebek et. al. (my father is lawyer,otherwise I’d have no idea what that means) choose you!!!

    I’m going to create a Menurkey now (yes, it’s a real thing): I don’t think I need to spend $50 to buy one when I can make it out of clay (see? I’m incorporating even more Hanukkah references!)

    However, the clay I bought is flammable, which could ruin the party, so I’m going to smoosh (art technical term) the feathers down at the tops and place votive candles on them. I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m sure it will end up on my website, unless it’s a total disaster, in which case it will definitely show up on my website!

    Team Eugene!!!!!

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