My Magic Kingdom
According to the ever-whimsical Jewish calendar, this year Purim will be in late February. (I am waiting for our holiday to coincide with Cinco de Mayo.)
For our new readers as well our forgetful ones, here is what I wrote two years ago…
Now back to the present tense. Call it typecasting, but once again I will be portraying the villainous Haman. I also offered to play the hero Mordechai. As I explained to our Cantor, I envisioned a Gustav Mahler Purim, where our main character is schizophrenic with self-loathing. If only he could massacre his Jewish identity….To the Cantor’s credit, she dissuaded the Sunday school principal from calling the police. But the principal (Cromwell with an Isro) did have the final word in choosing this year’s skit. Our Megillah will have a Disney theme.
I had to wonder which Disney character would make the best villain. Ironically, most of the villains during the Golden Age of Uncle Walt were women: the Wicked Queen, the Wicked Stepmother, the Evil Fairy, Cruella De Vil, and you’ve heard the rumors about Minnie Mouse. (Think how Mickey got that voice!)
About 15 seconds later, I knew the answer. There was a Disney character, an older man who seemed warm and avuncular; yet, beneath that endearing facade was a hard-drinking, womanizing bigot. Think of a Mel Gibson who had yet to be caught. Yes, this is the Haman I would love to play, and I would have him sing:
I‘m the paragon of film purity.
I make great cartoons and dumb comedies.
While I ply wholesome style, I’m a racist reptile.
I’ve a small mind after all.
chorus: I’ve a small mind after all, I’ve a small mind after all, etc., etc…ad nauseum.
I can kill Ol’ Yeller and blame the Jews.
Whether rabies or rabbis ‘s’a point of view.
This is my little reich, where we don’t employ kikes.
I’ve a small mind after all.
So, do you think this will get past the Sunday School principal…or the Disney estate?
Yes, Eugene, you’ve got a small mind, after all. Small and funny and fine, if I may quote from another song (not Disney!) Oy! I laughed out loud at my desk reading this — you are the best! Anyway, I can’t wait to hear your musings on the Pope’s resignation. My husband, who can also be kind of funny, said the Pope feels this way: “I’m too old for this sh**! ” Double Oy! 🙂
Pope Eugene the First – I like it!
No, Peg, I would be the Fifth.