Easter, the first drafts
In the order they were written…
The Gospel of Mark:
And the stone was rolled away, and Yeshua grumbled, “Oy, such a weekend.”
The Gospel of Matthew:
So out schlepped Jeshy. “At least I got out of two days of matzoh. Talk about Hell, which is a lot like the Pharisees’ recipe for brisket: eternal roasting and completely tasteless.”
The Gospel of Luke:
Looking none the worse for the tomb’s post-Spartan decor, Christos exclaimed “By Jove, I would love some souvlaki and ouzo.”
The Gospel of John:
And the Lord first saw Mary Magdalene and said unto her, “Megs, look what the Jews did to my wrists! Now they will probably try to sell me some cufflinks. Those people!”