Your RDA of Irony

Eugene Explains the Headlines

Dead for 32,000 Years, an Arctic Plant Is Revived

New York Times

Living plants have been generated from the fruit of a little arctic flower, the narrow-leafed campion, that died 32,000 years ago, a team of Russian scientists reports. The fruit was stored by an arctic ground squirrel in its burrow on the tundra of northeastern Siberia and lay permanently frozen until excavated by scientists a few years ago.

The scientists will next try this on Mitt Romney, but they are less hopeful.


Rick Santorum: Prenatal testing encourages abortions


GOP presidential candidate and former senator Rick Santorum sharply criticized President Obama’s health-care law again Sunday for requiring health-insurance companies to cover certain prenatal tests, because some procedures are used to identify abnormalities and “encourage abortions.”

“As President, I would only permit prenatal testing for cases of demonic possession.  And I support the use of exorcisms as a medical procedure.”

2013:  Popular high school cheerleader Mary Libideau informed her chaplain/physician of her suspected demonic possession.  “Well, Monseigneur Goldstein, my morning sickness has this terrifying taste of sulfur, Manichaeism and Voltaire.”  She was the 8th teenager this month with those exact symptoms.  The high school did have an AP History class.  Monseigneur Doctor Goldstein really appreciated the originality of the MBA who insisted that her stomach growls sounded like the bass from Gounod’s “Faust.”

But the doctor dutifully filled out the paperwork for the teenager’s exorcism, identifying the umbilical cord as a tail.


Santorum Demonstrates the Value of Home Schooling

“The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical,” former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) told a South Carolina audience. “And that is what the perception is by the American left who hates Christendom.”

Referring to the “American left,” Santorum observed: “They hate Western civilization at the core. That’s the problem.” Santorum also suggested that American involvement in the Middle East is part of our “core American values.”

Jerusalem, 1099:  While the European crusaders were slaughtering the city’s Moslems, Jews and Greek Orthodox, the American crusaders were distributing Hershey bars.  The chroniclers noted the severed hands clutching the candy and found melted chocolate among the ashes of synagogues and mosques.  But with his winning All-American smile Sir Kilroy gushed, “That Hershey bar makes a great last meal.”

p.s.  Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day:

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