Your RDA of Irony

Sunday Sundry

Today’s  most interesting spam:

Great news! Become an agent for Internet Modeling, and make money recruiting models from your visitors. Easily earn 1,000 dollars per week!

Isn’t it obvious?  Anyone who can expound on the Empress Theodora or Madame de Pompadour has a talent for being a pimp.  I may not have realized it but fortunately the Human Resource department of Internet Modeling wants me in my true vocation. 

Now, I must say that “1000 dollars a week” seems a little meager for a pimp.  Wouldn’t the police expect that much in payoffs?  But perhaps that is just my starting salary–and the real money might be in selling advertising space on my “girls”.  “Tattoo your product here!”

Of course, the real drawback to my being a pimp is that I am such an underachiever.  I keep waiting for the Pulitzer Committee to notice me–and I probably would run the brothel with the same stoic incompetence.  I am also a bit shy–really.  I wouldn’t know how to procure a naive farmgirl at a bus station.   “Have you read Zola’s “Nana?” might not be the most enticing introduction, unless that farmgirl thinks that Nana is an anatomical part.

But, in any case, if you would like me to be your pimp, please let me know.

Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day:

  1. Michael Gury says:

    Dear Mr. Finerman, you underestimate yourself as a babe magnet. If you can tag this post to Joan of Arc and Pimp, you can do most anything. You do need to work on your opening lines. ”Have you read Zola’s “Nana?” would be better rephrased as “Would you like to see my Banana?” With that one you can increase your response rate and I would expect that you could increase your weekly income of $1000 to $1010, or reduce it to $250 or nothing at all. Well, there are no limits to the business opportunities served up on the Internet. Lately, I have been presented some exciting opportunities in things like sonogram technology, nursing, and something having to do with x-rays, which actually has some attraction because I would get to dress up like Bela Lugosi in one of his lesser roles and wander around some hospital scaring people. My personal favorite pick-up line is: “Have you ever seen Plan 9 from Outer Space?” I’ve made a few thousand a week with that one.

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