Posts Tagged ‘pimp’

Sunday Sundry

Posted in General on May 30th, 2010 by Eugene Finerman – 1 Comment

Today’s  most interesting spam:

Great news! Become an agent for Internet Modeling, and make money recruiting models from your visitors. Easily earn 1,000 dollars per week!

Isn’t it obvious?  Anyone who can expound on the Empress Theodora or Madame de Pompadour has a talent for being a pimp.  I may not have realized it but fortunately the Human Resource department of Internet Modeling wants me in my true vocation. 

Now, I must say that “1000 dollars a week” seems a little meager for a pimp.  Wouldn’t the police expect that much in payoffs?  But perhaps that is just my starting salary–and the real money might be in selling advertising space on my “girls”.  “Tattoo your product here!”

Of course, the real drawback to my being a pimp is that I am such an underachiever.  I keep waiting for the Pulitzer Committee to notice me–and I probably would run the brothel with the same stoic incompetence.  I am also a bit shy–really.  I wouldn’t know how to procure a naive farmgirl at a bus station.   “Have you read Zola’s “Nana?” might not be the most enticing introduction, unless that farmgirl thinks that Nana is an anatomical part.

But, in any case, if you would like me to be your pimp, please let me know.

Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day: