Coming Attraction
What kind of movie would have the title “Quantum of Solace”? You’d guess that it was an indie film, based on a poem published in the New Yorker, in which the writer/director/star/caterer recounts his artistic and dermatological struggles. You will be relieved to know that you are wrong. But you will be mystified to learn that it actually is the title of the next James Bond film.
I am not making this up!
“The Quantum of Solace” does not convey either the mystique, violence or gilded body part that we expect in a Bond film. Can you imagine the plot appropriate for that title?
Mad scientist Jacques Derrida has created a completely debilitating form of literary criticism, and only James Bond can stop him. With exciting action scenes at the Stamford Crossword Puzzle Tournament, brunch at Tom Stoppard’s, and a hot tub with Joyce Carol Oates.
I can hardly wait. In the meantime, I am going to write the next James Bond script, “The Bildungsroman of Post-Modernism”, where Bond has to stop evil mastermind Simon Schama from hurting Julian Schnaubel’s feelings.
Worst. Bond. Film. Title. Ever.
Except for Octopussy, of course. But at least we can blame Ian Fleming for that one.
Actually, we can blame Fleming for this one, too. It’s one of the five novellas in his Bond anthology, For Your Eyes Only. (Two of the others, “From a View to a Kill” and the title story, have already been used in the film series.)
I forgot about that.
Doesn’t make it not suck, though.
That title, a loser. Wrong in so many ways. I fear for the person that was the final “ok” re that selection. I fully expect Cubby Broccoli AND that bad bad Mr. Mannix to come out of the ground and “fix” this.
Despite the restraining order, here is Dave Traini:
Actually, “Quantum of Solace” isn’t too bad a choice
if you consider some of the titles that were rejected:
Parsec of Passion, Hogshead of Lust, Smidgeon of
Seduction, Scintilla of Terror, and Nanometer of
Nastiness.
Dave
Absolutely, positively, the worst title ever – for ANY movie, not just a Bond. Whoever came up with it needs a quantum of smack-upside-the-head.
uhh…Dear Mr. Traini,
Too many big words for those of us below the Poverty Line as offered by Sargent Schiver. That and the geography of a Tennessee Public School Education. Otherwise, have a nice day.
Even if Jesus loves you, I hate you. LOL!
David
Tennessee David:
I think that “Hogshead of Lust” has a certain appeal, even for us state university peasants.
And even if Jesus loves you, His mother won’t let Him date Gentiles.
Eugene