Posts Tagged ‘James Bond’

Coming Attraction

Posted in General on January 25th, 2008 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment

What kind of movie would have the title “Quantum of Solace”? You’d guess that it was an indie film, based on a poem published in the New Yorker, in which the writer/director/star/caterer recounts his artistic and dermatological struggles. You will be relieved to know that you are wrong. But you will be mystified to learn that it actually is the title of the next James Bond film.

I am not making this up!

“The Quantum of Solace” does not convey either the mystique, violence or gilded body part that we expect in a Bond film. Can you imagine the plot appropriate for that title?

Mad scientist Jacques Derrida has created a completely debilitating form of literary criticism, and only James Bond can stop him. With exciting action scenes at the Stamford Crossword Puzzle Tournament, brunch at Tom Stoppard’s, and a hot tub with Joyce Carol Oates.

I can hardly wait. In the meantime, I am going to write the next James Bond script, “The Bildungsroman of Post-Modernism”, where Bond has to stop evil mastermind Simon Schama from hurting Julian Schnaubel’s feelings.