Posts Tagged ‘surveys’

And for Dessert, Have a Survey!

Posted in General on October 8th, 2010 by Eugene Finerman – 4 Comments

Last night the family and friends celebrated my wife’s birthday at a popular restaurant, part of the California chain not founded by Father Serra.  (Mind you, think of how well he might have done offering pepperoni and avocado communion wafers!)  At the bottom of the check was the now all too familiar enticement:  “Tell us about your experience for a chance to win $500 in our weekly cash drawing.”  Go to a drugstore for coughdrops and your receipt will have a similar survey request.  I will admit that I have occasionally gone online to fill out these surveys.  It is my way of thanking some anonymous MBA for doing nothing more harmful than crafting a ridiculous questionnaire.

So what did I divulge to the marketing department of “California Pizza Kitchen”.  Here are some of the questions–at least how I remember them.

Why are you here?

  • 1.  I like the food. 
  • 2.  There’s got to be something on the menu to please my picky nephew, although he then will waste half of the food.
  • 3.  To atone in this life for the undeserved success in my previous incarnation.  (Was I Louis XV or James Dean?)

Would you notice if your server had a hideous skin disease?

  • 1.  Yes.
  • 2.  No.
  • 3.  I might have mistaken the eczema flakes for croutons.

Name your three favorite signatories of the Treaty of Westphalia.

Are you still here?

  • 1.  I was a history major and a Hapsburg junkie.
  • 2.  I made up the names of the three signatories, as if a second-rate MBA like you would know the difference. 
  • 3.  For the chance at $500, I went to Wikipedia for the answers.  It says the Treaty of Westphalia established standards for baked ham.

Do you really believe that we are giving away $500?

  • 1.  Yes, but I am obviously an idiot.
  • 2.  Of course not, but my boss just passed by and I didn’t want to be caught looking at a porn site.
  • 3.  It’s me, Scott from your Marketing class at Northwestern.  Hope you don’t mind but but I am plagiarizing this survey for Burger King.