FinermanWorks

February 10, 1840:  Bert Coburg Finds Steady Work

A Happy 170th Wedding Anniversary to Queen Victoria and Prince Albert!

Victoria and Albert could be considered the Lucy and Ricky of their time. She is earnest but not terribly bright; he is intellectual, puritanical and foreign. She adores him, and he lets her…and she does have her way. There are nine children. The oldest daughter, Vicky, is Miss Perfect; she is practically her father in drag. The oldest son, Bertie, is a classic goof and party-animal; he is the despair of his father. Of course, Vicky and Al also have some zany neighbors: Lou and Genie Bonaparte. (Lou is a rogue who always coming up with some get-rich-quick scheme, such as trying to setting up an empire in Mexico. He is the despair of his wife–who is dumb but gorgeous.)

Unfortunately, during the 22nd season of “I Love Vicky“, Albert does a John Ritter. There are a series of guest male leads to keep Victoria busy for the next 39 seasons. Among the stars are the charming, hilarious Ben Disraeli and the impossibly pompous William Gladstone. Of course, Bertie is still undermining the Victorian household; he now is a serial adulterer. And his oldest son may be Jack the Ripper. The oldest daughter, the perfect Vicky, has produced a perfect monster for a child: Willie to his grandmother, Kaiser Wilhelm to his subjects.

That is the basic outline. If we market it to cable, we’ll have to include nude scenes.

On this day in 1819 Louisa, Duchess of Saxe-Coburg, gave birth to her second son. The infant did not look remotely like her husband, a fact observed by the Duke. A new-born brunet–in a fair-haired family–raised some questions as to how close the Duchess had been with the court financier. (The child turned out to be highly intelligent–which also seemed to incriminate the financier.) However suspicious the Duke might be, he needed the financier more than a scandal. So the Duke assumed the paternity of the infant in question. Besides, he was confident that his wife’s first-born–blond and dumb–was definitely his.

Nonetheless, the Duke was prepared to part with his wife. The miserable couple separated and, having the advantage of being Protestant, divorced. The price of her freedom, however, was the loss of her children. Both boys were to be raised by the Duke. The older boy seemed unaffected by the family discord; Teutonic obtuseness has its virtues. The younger boy–perhaps less Teutonic–was all too aware of the scandal and the rumors. His response was to make himself beyond reproach. He was diligent, studious, and puritanical. Ironically, it only proved that he was no Saxe-Coburg, but he was a most admirable young man. Fortunately, he also happened to be handsome.

The young Queen of England certainly thought so. Victoria proposed to the handsome, refined and exemplary young man–and being a second son he really had no other job prospects. He consented and became her Prince Consort. The young woman was so enamoured that she remade herself to be everything that her husband would want. A giddy, self-indulgent Hanoverian became…well…a Victorian. But all the self-contained, industrious, and (let’s face it) self-righteous traits that we call Victorian would more accurately be called Albertian.

And a Happy 167th Wedding Anniversary to Queen Victoria and Prince Albert!

Victoria and Albert could be considered the Lucy and Ricky of their time. She is earnest but not terribly bright; he is intellectual, puritanical and foreign. She adores him, and he lets her…and she does have her way. There are nine children. The oldest daughter, Vicky, is Miss Perfect; she is practically her father in drag. The oldest son, Bertie, is a classic goof and party-animal; he is the despair of his father. Of course, Vicky and Al also have some zany neighbors: Lou and Genie Bonaparte. (Lou is a rogue who always coming up with some get-rich-quick scheme, such as trying to setting up an empire in Mexico. He is the despair of his wife–who is dumb but gorgeous.)

Unfortunately, during the 22nd season of “I Love Vicky“, Albert does a John Ritter. There are a series of guest male leads to keep Victoria busy for the next 39 seasons. Among the guest stars are the charming, hilarious Ben Disraeli and the impossibly pompous William Gladstone. Of course, Bertie is still undermining the Victorian household; he now is a serial adulterer. And his oldest son may be Jack the Ripper. The oldest daughter, the perfect Vicky, has produced a perfect monster for a child: Willie to his grandmother, Kaiser Wilhelm to his subjects.

That is the basic outline. If we market it to cable, we’ll have to include nude scenes.