Posts Tagged ‘Fox News’

Fair is foul, and foul is fair and balanced

Posted in General on October 11th, 2010 by Eugene Finerman – 2 Comments

Times are tough, so I have had to take a job as the drama critic for Fox News.   Here is my first review.

Once again Public Television and those fancy English writers show their contempt for American values, especially normal sex, with a heavy-handed portrayal of a working class family.  The dialogue is unintelligible, no doubt PBS’ idea of Redneck accents, so I could barely understand the plot of “Mac and Beth”.  They seem to be a struggling couple. Mac apparently is a migrant gas worker.  First, he is working for Methane of Glamis, then for Methane of Cawdor.  Beth thinks he can do better.  So he sees these three social workers, who get him into some management program.  

But even that evidently doesn’t bring in much more money.  He still can’t afford cable television.  With lousy reception, Mac can’t tell “Is this a dagger which I see before me?”  Beth apparently has a job as a manicurist but must take her work too seriously.  Mac’s workplace seems to have a lot of industrial accidents and, without socialized European healthcare, everyone has to walk around like a corpse.  (By the way, doesn’t Banquo sound like a Hispanic name?  Mac’s entitled to his suspicions.)  

The play, reflecting the social bias of British liberals and PBS subscribers, also offers a none-too-subtle attack on American education.  What happened to Mrs. MacDuff certainly is an outlandish criticism of home schooling.  We know in real America the children would be better armed than bureaucrats from the Department of Education.

Of course, Mac and Beth end badly but nothing happens to the three social workers.   They are still around to interfere in our lives, corrupting us with their big government liberal promises.  And you will hear the same story tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.  It is a tale told by Fox News.

If You’ve Seen One…

Posted in General on August 6th, 2010 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment

Greta van Susteren Sick Over Shirley Sherrod-Maxine Waters Mix-Up

During a segment about the ethics violations California Democrat Maxine Waters is accused of, “On the Record with Greta van Susteren” producers actually showed footage of another black woman in the news:  Shirley Sherrod.

Fox News would like to clarify the following points.

Viewers may have gotten the impression that Rep. Charles Rangel is a  pedophile.  By accident, we showed a picture of Bill “Bojangles” Robinson tapdancing with Shirley Temple.  Miss Temple assures the Fox audience that Mr. Robinson always knew his place. 

Viewers may have gotten the impression that Rep. Maxine Waters was guilty of medical malpractice by claiming to be an obstetrician.  By accident, we showed the wrong film clip.  That actually was Butterfly McQueen saying “she didn’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no babies.”  Olivia de Havilland assures our viewers that, to her knowledge, Miss McQueen performed no abortions on the set; but Leslie Howard certainly would have been the father.

Viewers may have gotten the impression that Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is a promiscuous slut in a Puerto Rican gang and indirectly responsible for the death of Richard Beymer.  By accident, we showed the wrong film clip.  That actually was Rita Moreno in “West Side Story.”  However, if Sotomayor had killed Richard Beymer, we certainly wouldn’t blame her.