Posts Tagged ‘conservatives’

Open Mike Night at Club Eugene

Posted in General on October 17th, 2008 by Eugene Finerman – Be the first to comment

I am not going to worry about this election. Diebold has already counted my ballot; and it seems that I have voted for McCain six times in Florida and Ohio.

Of course, I have yet to recover from the 2000 election…but neither has Western Civilization. That election did answer the profound philosophical question: in a race between an idiot and a fool, who’d win? We now know: the idiot will. The idiot might do something inadvertently right while the fool will do everything meticulously wrong. Bush spoke as if he were in fourth grade, and Gore spoke as if we were in fourth grade.

In this election, John McCain claims to represent the mainstream against the liberals. McCain isn’t mainstream, he is a swimming pool at a country club–the shallow end. But Sarah Palin is genuinely folksy…just like a septic tank.

Barack Obama should accept the mantle of liberal. After all, look who is on Mount Rushmore. By my count, that is three liberals–and even Washington was a revolutionary. Secular humanist liberals founded this republic. Without them, this country would be under the hereditary rule of upper-class twits….Well, until 2000 it wasn’t.

In fairness, I will acknowledge the Conservatives’ contribution to America: they lost the Civil War.