Posts Tagged ‘2012 election’

Land of the Fleece, Home of the Brazen

Posted in General on November 6th, 2012 by Eugene Finerman – 7 Comments

Florida election officials concede that there may have some degree of error in disqualifying all the state’s Afro-American voters.  A spokesman for the Governor agreed that all three million people probably weren’t convicted felons, and that having an overdue book from the library is rarely a felony.  There was further doubt that all three million Afro-Americans would simultaneously have taken out a copy of “Gone With the Wind.”  The governor office’s will look into the problem.

There also were electoral problems for the state’s Hispanic community.  Although the ballots were bilingual, the second language turned out to be Middle English.  When asked if the Governor’s office had confused Chaucer with Cervantes, the official response was “As if a real American would care?”  Hispanic-Americans were further confronted with onerous I.D. requirements.  As proof of residency, prospective voters were asked to show land grants from Charles V.

Once again, voters in Miami Beach had problems with the design of the ballots.  Election officials had no idea why this year’s ballots were shaped like swastikas.  “Maybe we were trying to save on paper.  You’d think those people would appreciate being stingy.”

Governor Romney is predicted to receive 200 percent of Florida’s vote.

Meanwhile in Ohio, in accordance with the Secretary of State’s most recent ruling, certain voters may be required to prove their identity by singing “Camptown Races”.