Your RDA of Irony

Brainy Bad

Of course, you are wondering  “How will Eugene react if he does not win the Jeopardy Fan Favorite competition?”

Brainy Bad meme

FinermanWorks became a site for historic pornography, and Eugene quickly cornered the market.  Who else knew the good stuff about the Byzantine empresses?  Under all those mosaics, they were naked!  True, it was a bit of an effort to pick away the right tiles–but it did put the arch in archaeology.

Not interested  in “Hot Babes of the Comnenian Dynasty” (in peel-off mosaics or peek-a-boo icons) ?   Eugene also offered the collection of centerfolds from the Book of Kells.    See St. Brigid the way that you always wanted to!  (All right, those Irish monks couldn’t draw well but it was the closest you’ll ever get to Maureen O’Hara having nude scenes in “Miracle on 34th Street”.)

Thanks to Eugene’s salacious scholarship, patriotic Americans no longer had to imagine Abigail Adams naked.  Eugene found Gilbert Stuart’s secret sketchbook.   In fact, FinermanWorks had all the First Ladies.  Grace Coolidge was a best seller.  (Only Rachel Maddow wanted Eleanor Roosevelt.)

And if you happened to be that way, your panderer-in-chief could offer pictures of gay Japanese samurai from the 16th century.  Two of the leading warlords weren’t interested in warladies.  Really.  To Uesugi Kenshin and Oda Nobunaga, shogun was as much a proposition as a title.

It was always an orgy at FinermanWorks…

NO, NO!  You must prevent this nightmare  (especially the part where I marry Jenny McCarthy)  by voting for Eugene:


Facebook to vote for your favorite relic via the Fan Favorites Voting Tab. Fans can choose their Fan Favorite (still ME!) from the pool of five nominees and click “Vote Now!”

Registered Twitter users can vote for me via simply by tweeting in the following format:
Eugene #JeopardyVote  (Remember to leave a space between Eugene and #)

Just one tweet per day during the voting period will be counted.

So, please vote and spare me from my sociopathic potential!




  1. Joan Stewart Smith says:

    Hey! I never saw those pictures! Anyway, Eugene, I am voting for you to be on Jeopardy to save you from your big Brainy Bad redemptive finale.

  2. Peter Aleff says:

    Best wishes, Eugene, for avoiding this second career as Byzantine pornmonger. I am voting daily for you on both Jeopardy and Facebook, but just in case this does not push you over the top here is some additional material for your underneath the tiles. This porny poetry is taken directly from academic translations of the Phaistos Disk as posted at (about halfway down that page in case the bookmark “Aartun” does not work. Enjoy the subtlety, and good luck for winning!

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