Your RDA of Irony

New and Improved Elections

Announcing the solution to questionable electoral counts, Diebold Corporation will produce “pre-voted” ballots for every citizen. Corporate spokesman Eugene Finerman explained the advantages of the new system. “First, the convenience is obvious. You won’t have to go to the polls because Diebold has done it for you. Furthermore, each ballot is custom-designed to anticipate exactly how you would vote. Working with Comcast and AT&T, we know your political tendencies from your monitored phone calls and internet visits. For example, none of my YouTube selections is less than 40 years old and I only download heterosexual pornography, so Diebold has cast my vote for Mitt Romney.”

Voters will have a chance to read how they voted by going to Diebold’s website. It should be up within a week of the election. If a person is dissatisfied with his specific ballot, he can call customer service.

  1. wayne rhodes says:

    you MUST delete this before someone sees it and makes it happen!!!!!!

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