Your RDA of Irony


The business call was scheduled for ten a.m.  and at that precise time the telephone rang.  However, it was a robo-call and from Callista Gingrich.  She was eager to tell me how our Founding Fathers were all Republicans.  I might have listened to the entire joke, but I really was expecting a more important phone call.  So I hung up; but Callista didn’t.  She automatically called again.  Once again I hung up–but Callista continued her sermon, tying up the phone line for about five minutes.  In the meantime, the scheduled call was exiled to voicemail.  That made a great impression.  Thanks, Mrs. Gingrich.
Given her history, I can see Callista operating a certain type of phone line… “I’m alone in this big hot tub and I want someone to spank me with a copy of the National Review.”  But for some reason, I am not tempted.  No, the Republican phone bank will have to try another tactic. 
Consider Ann Romney’s rather direct approach:   “How soon would you like Mitt to baptize your corpse?  If you are not in a hurry, then you better vote for us!” 
Gretchen Carlson could leave this phone message:  “Is your refrigerator running?  Of course, it is–and we thank God for inventing electricity.  Yet, is there any mention of God on your electric bill?  No, not while Barack Hussein Obama claims to be president.  This November put God back in your refrigerator. “
And you could have Ann Coulter and Stephen Baldwin calling at 3 a.m., claiming to be the Obamas and demanding crack.  And since it is 3 a.m., you might even believe them.
I am Mitt Romney, and I approve these messages.
  1. wayne rhodes says:

    and who do you want answering the phone at 3 am? If you can figure out a way, maybe it will be Callista! (can’t wait until she’s a trivia question. Hope it’s soon!!!)

    • Eugene Finerman says:


      If Callista Gingrich were in my house at 3 in the morning, she would be there as the tooth fairy. She would place a Tiffany’s gift certificate under my pillow to pay for the teeth that my wife would have knocked out–after finding Callista in our house at 3 in the morning.


  2. Peg Pruitt says:

    Ann and Mitt – the Barbie and Ken of the GOP

    • Eugene Finerman says:


      I think of Ann and Willard as more like Thurston and Lovie Howell…if “Gilligan’s Island” had been directed by Wes Craven.


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