Your RDA of Irony

The Job Market

The following are actual job offers for writers.  My comments may not be quite so serious.

We are currently in search of a Communications Manager for an Association in downtown Chicago .

POSITION TITLE: Communications Manager
SALARY: $15 – $17/hour, commensurate with experience”

In Mumbai, a 14 year-old is considering this for an after-school job.

Throughout most of the Middle Ages the only literates were the clergy. If Guinevere insisted on place cards for the Round Table, the clergy did the clerical. (Yes, the words are related.) Perhaps this company–offering that impressive $15 a hour–thinks that we writers still have vows of poverty.

Communications Consultant

When applicable and appropriate, consideration will be given to reasonable accommodations.”

I may not be entitled to use a washroom but I would be within walking distance of an alley.

And if your underwriting is as good as your writing, Allstate has a position for you.


This position requires strong writing skills for and a working knowledge of financial and life insurance products and services. It also requires the ability to understand internal and external customers’ needs and to execute communication programs and plans to support them.

Series 6 license preferred.

Strong writing, communication and follow-up skills required”

So, I could be writing the company newsletter as well as estimates on car repairs.

But what are follow-up skills for a writer? I hope that means negotiations with film studios….”James Cameron and Martin Scorsese are both bidding on that home owners policy you wrote for the Weinblatt family. Scorsese would like to make the family Italian and guarantees you an Oscar nomination. Cameron prefers them to be extraterrestrial and is willing to throw in $25 million for the rewrite.”

Kvetching Bull or Avatorah?


  1. Bob Kincaid says:

    Frankly, I was just amazed that Allstate got that possessive apostrophe in the right place. NOT kidding. Between auto-correct and general ignorance, I expect all apostrophe-driven distinctions to be gone in another fifty years.

    But you left out the Coen Brothers, and they’d be much less of a re-write, with “The Big Eugenski.”

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