Your RDA of Irony

Market de Sade

Career opportunities for any aspiring Torquemadas, Himmlers or Stalins…

Loyalty Operations Support Project Manager

Join the Customer Experience team and make an impact! We are growing our Customer Loyalty team in support of Loyalty needs across the enterprise. The Loyalty Operations team is responsible for the delivery and flawless execution of Loyalty program capabilities and processes. The team is responsible for defining and establishing foundational Loyalty processes, and ensuring over 200,000 front line employees can execute those processes. We work closely with Operations and Technology partners to ensure delivery of a best in class Loyalty customer experience.

There were some questions about our program “Bring Your Children To Work and Send Them to a Malaysian Sweatshop.”  We can assure the concerned parents that the sweatshops will be under the auspices of the company.  So your child will be loyal to our proud brand, which is more than can be said about you for asking those questions. 

Reminder that our Turn in a Traitor contest is still on.  You have until Wednesday to meet your quota.  Any failures will be tantamount to a confession. 

Our Employee of the Week is Ernest Grovley who was willing to die of dehydration rather leave before his 96 hour shift was over.  We are sorry that Mr. Grovley’s sterling example was not followed by three colleagues who removed the corpse before the shift was over.  The question of hygiene is no excuse for their disloyalty.  Of course, we regret their “suicides.” But you are our employees, not OSHA’s.  Consider that as advice or an epitaph.  Your choice.

  1. Leah says:

    So whose ad is this?

    • Eugene Finerman says:

      Dear Leah,

      I am not bound to protect the corporation since it never gave me any work. It once did host my speechwriters’ group but served only stale cookies.

      However, their lawyers may be better than their caterers. So why risk a suit? If you need to know, we will play a game of full in the blanks: Hadrian’s —–sleeves.

  2. Nancy Kullman says:

    my son posted a quote on FB: “I’ll believe corporations are people whenTexas executes one.”

    • Eugene Finerman says:


      That depends on the race or ethnicity of the corporation. The Koch Bros. could put arsenic in Lake Travis, and Telemundo or Johnson Publishing would be put on death’s row for it.


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