Your RDA of Irony

Species and Specious

Pekingese Malachy Wins Best in Show at Westminster Dog Pageant

Malachy explained–in perfect English–that his celebrity status would have no real effect on his life.  “I will continue the 80-hour-a-week job for Apple while using my free time to earn a PhD from M.I.T.  But I wouldn’t refuse an invitation for Celebrity Jeopardy.”

The champion explained his fluency in four languages.  “Of course, I was born speaking Mandarin.  I subscribe to the New York Times, Le Monde and Asahi Shimbun, and I read each thoroughly before I go on them.”

Family Values Book Project 

(This is an actual ad for writers.)

We have begun working with a politically oriented first-time author who is looking for help telling her unique, only-in-America story.
The client is a black, Orthodox Jewish, single mother who grew up in the Midwest, now splits her time between her home state and New York City, and serves on the Republican National Committee.
Now the client is interested in writing a book that gives a fuller account of her experiences and uses them as a jumping-off point to address a mix of weighty cultural, moral, and racial issues.
The client is seeking a collaborator to first hone a proposal (we are working on lining up an agent for the project) and then develop the full manuscript.
She would prefer to work with someone who shares and can effectively channel her views on the value of faith and family.
I am sorry but the story needs more implausibility.  She should also be a recovering drug addict.  That way she can describe having two sets of coke spoons: one for meat and one for dairy.  And would she be willing to claim that Barak Obama–or at least Oprah–is the father of her children?
p.s.  Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day:


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