Your RDA of Irony

Settling Debts

Greek Government Threatens Financial Default; European Economy Could Collapse

Official Response of the Greek Government

Dear Barbarians,

To us, this is not a “bail-out” but a long overdue repayment.  Think of it as rent for the Elgin Marbles.  And yes, we want them back, along with the Shroud of Turin, the Apollo Belvedere, Venus de Milo.  You know, just give us half your museums.  And since we need a place to put it all, give us back Southern Italy, Sicily, Constantinople and Anatolia.

Then, there is the question of copyright licensing.  You owe us for democracy.  We’ll call it five hundred years’ worth.  Yes, we can send that bill to the English and the Americans, although the French can chip in a little, too.  Then there is 2500 years of medicine and theater; maybe you can split that with the Jews.

So, you are only giving us what’s rightfully ours.  And if you don’t like it, you people are used to Dark Ages.




  1. Brent Hoffmann says:

    After recovering them from the British Museum, the Greeks then will have to return the Elgin Marbles to the rightful owner — the Elgin National Watch Elgin, Ill. But the marbles shipment will have to be rerouted because the factory closed in 1964, and the “Elgin” name was sold to MZ Berger Inc., which specializes in manufacturing its watches in China and distributing them outside the traditional dealerships. So the Brits can save time and expense by just FedExing the pilfered marbles to Berger’s corporate office in Long Island City, N.Y. Just trying to help.

  2. JC Kreidel says:

    Wow, that’d be a hell of a spinner. Something tells me the spokesman might be tarred and feathered for his petulant candor. Or forced to roll a rock up a hill for eternity, a la Sisyphos.

    • Eugene Finerman says:

      JC, Remember that hubris is a Greek word and, for the Athenians and Byzantines, a foreign policy.


  3. Joan Stewart Smith says:

    Eygenios, what an interesting way of looking at this. Maybe the Danish Glücksburg dynasty can get into this, too! On second thought, forget that. They didn’t end up having much fun as they thought they would after their star turn as the Greek royal family.

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