Your RDA of Irony

Monday Mutterings

SpongeBob in hot water from study of 4-year-olds


The cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants is in hot water from a study
suggesting that watching just nine minutes of that program can cause short-term
attention and learning problems in 4-year-olds.

In a series of intelligence tests, viewers of “Sponge Bob” fared consistently worse than 4-year-olds who had just watched three hours of Nova.  PBS viewer Tiffany Smarmley likes String Theory and is fantasizing that her Barbie will marry Neil deGrasse Tyson.  By contrast, SpongeBob fan Dulles Voyde knew that a Portuguese man-of-war was grouchy but saw no corelation to the colonization of Brazil.

Former know-it-all and still precocious Eugene Finerman compared the superior educational offerings of television in his childhood.  “We learned that Hitler was defeated by the Three Stooges, who obviously symbolized Stalin (Moe), Larry (FDR) and Curly (the resemblance to Churchill is too obvious).  However, I am still uncertain whether the pie in the face represented Stalingrad or the invasion of Normandy.”

Mel Gibson Takes on Judah Maccabee

New York Times

Mel Gibson is working on a movie about the life of Judah Maccabee, the Israelite warrior whose victory over the Greek and Syrian forces is celebrated during Hanukkah.

I might have preferred Leni Reifenstahl, but Mel still will make it an unique interpretation….

The Maccabres

Judah, played by Larry David, operates an orphanage and bakery.  One day, while looking for some missing students, Aristotle (played by Ian McKellen) passes by and offers Judah all the benefits of Greek civilization:  democracy, medicine, theater, philosophy, and physical fitness.  In return, Aristotle only asks that Judah and his type be less vile.  Of course, Judah is appalled by the idea of physical fitness and so crucifies Aristotle.  But he is willing to steal the other ideas.  It turns out that Judah is quite good at theater and medicine, but he drives all the gentiles out.  Worse, his form of democracy would only let Communists vote.  As for philosophy, Judah makes it completely incoherent; so people mistake him for a financier.  With Judah controlling all the banks, the Greeks, the elves and the hobbits have no choice but to revolt against his tyranny.  Alexander the Great (played by Mel Gibson) and Confucius (Jackie Chan) lead the successful crusade.  They burn Judah at the stake and the fire miraculously lasts eight days.

Yes, there are preposterous historical inaccuracies; did you expect otherwise from Mel Gibson?

Let’s not forget the historic significance of this week:

September 11

September 12

September 13  and/or

September 14

September 15:

September 16:  I must have writer’s block.

September 17


  1. Cindy Starks says:

    Eugene — Forget HR! The only problem with getting your posts at work is that I laugh out loud and fall off my chair! Not good for my image. As for Sponge Bob, he only affect on me is more uproarious laughter and surprise that the writers, which I know include you, can come up with such creative stuff day after day. Great show. Some “Bob-isms,” “I’m not laughing at you; I’m laughing next to you.”

    As for Mel Gibson, I like him so much I keep hoping all the things he’s supposed to have said and done are really not true. I also keep waiting for him to redeem himself by saying nice and normal things, he keeps letting me down time and again. And now, Judah and the Macabees, my favorite singing group, being made into a movie. All I can say is, I hope the music is good. “>)

  2. Eugene Finerman says:

    So, Cindy, now I have to worry about getting you fired. Fortunately, my ancestors invented guilt. Yom Kippur is coming up in three weeks. So I am ready to add you to my regrets.


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