Your RDA of Irony

Grand Guignol Groupon

Freelance Writer

Writing & Editing | Chicago, IL, United States


Freelancers are the ronins of the writing world, splitting the skulls of readers with word-swords wielded for the highest bidder. Groupon’s editorial department is looking for a few writers with the hardened souls of mercenaries and the tender diction of secret diarists.
The one and only qualification for this gig is that you can write well, and in our voice. We have housebroken our house style and need writers who can produce it effortlessly even from remote locations. If you are not familiar the Groupon voice, please spend a fortnight reading our features before you apply.
With either a cursory scan or a lifetime of morbidity, I think that I have mastered the Groupon style.  Let’s see.
  • After a day’s work at the Gilles de Rais Nursery School, if you haven’t yet sated your carnality, drop by Torquemada’s Barbecue Surprise.  With a Groupon coupon, you can get two Auto da Feasts for the price of one. 
  • A Spa to Die For?  Try Jean Marat’s Bath Clinique.  Relax in the soothing waters while getting an unique form of acupuncture.
  • Need a wedding planner?  Cathy de Medici will make your nuptials a historic event.  Half of your guests will rave about it, and the others would if they still could. 
p.s. It is Australia Day, when the First Fleet arrived at Botany Bay.
p.p.s. But here is the real historic event of the day:
  1. Joan Stewart Smith says:

    Magnifique! Well? Did you get the gig? Will I see your prose in my Los Angeles Groupon Daily Deal?

    • Eugene Finerman says:

      Dear Joan,

      Groupon pays $22 a review. That might equal $7 a hour. Wow–and to think I could be a grocery bagger for $8.


  2. Nancy Kullman says:

    What a day, what a day
    For an auto-da-fé!
    La La!

  1. There are no trackbacks for this post yet.

Leave a Reply