Your RDA of Irony

Odd Lang(uage) Sign

Client Fulfillment Consultant





Responsible for independently acting as the primary interface with the client to establish all connectivity between organizations. Organizes all internal and external project related activities to ensure a timely and smooth client implementation process. Exercises judgment and discretion with respect to client relations and problem resolutions. Must be a team player, take end-to-end ownership, and drive for results to grow the business, sustain intensity and optimism while focusing on the client.

But what if the client’s idea of fulfillment would be coherent English?  Imagine if Aladdin had rubbed that magic lamp and a MBA had appeared.  “You have authorizational capabilities, within tertiary perimeters, to accumulatize your specificities.  Pre-tax status.”

Worse, what if traditional client fulfillment services–brothels–started operating like MBA programs.  A tired businessman or senator simply wants a woman dressed like BoPeep to spank him.  Instead, he is forced to read aloud the Eurodollar trades from the Wall Street Journal.  Yes, MBAs could even ruin masochism.

New Year’s Resolutions

I promise to always wear a helmet when I am riding with Hell’s Angels.

When encountering someone named Justin, I will try to refrain from a lecture on the Byzantine Empire.  (This resolution also applies to anyone named Zoe, Theodora and Nicephorus.)

I will try not to scream at the television whenever I see Ben Stein shamelessly shilling some product.  After all, someone must think that he is adorable–other than himself.

That is about it.  Otherwise, I really am quite content with my stagnant quo and I hope that we will continue our sado-masochistic (but intelligible) relationship in 2011.

Happy New Year!

p.s.  Of course, I have to question the specific year:

  1. Rafferty Barnes says:

    You should print out your resolutions and keep them with you, Justin case.

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