Your RDA of Irony

Holiday Musings

Thought I

It must be Christmas. I am seeing Chia commercials, but I am a little disappointed that the manufacturers have not come out with the Chia Nativity Scene:

Just add water and in four days you’ll see beards on the Magi, Joseph and the baby Jesus. (You know about Semites and body hair!)

Thought II

A thousand years ago, the children of Scandinavia looked up to the sky awaiting the arrival of a jolly, boisterous spirit and his animal drawn cart. If the children had been good, they would be rewarded with weapons and attack plans for the British Isles. Thor and his goat cart would eventually be replaced by a migrant deity willing to work longer hours, deal with diseases and the other drudgery that no self-respecting Aesir would touch.

Yet, Swedes still celebrate the Christmas season with little straw goats, a symbol of their former theology. Perhaps in Scandinavian Nativity scenes the Virgin Mother is wearing a breast plate and a horned helmet.

Thought III

What, no holiday cards from any of you! When I was a bachelor–and couldn’t incriminate anyone else with my subversive taste–I used to design my holiday cards.

For instance, I came up with a tabloid called “The Nativity Enquirer.” The lead story was “Virgin Sues God in Palimony Case.”

Thought IV

Looking for that Christmas gift that will overawe the recipient with your sensitivity, erudition and cheapness?  Then give your victim a subscription to “Your RDA of Irony!”  Yes, for a fraction of a cent in electricity and maybe the strain of typing the correct email address, you will bestowing me on your acquaintances who aren’t worth a real gift.  Indeed, I am better than nothing and actually preferable to frankincense and myrrh.

Besides, with a few more readers, I can start having delusions of popularity.

  1. Dennis says:

    Eugene ,
    You are more popular than you know .

    • Eugene Finerman says:

      Thank you, Dennis.

      But I’d consider myself popular only if and when:
      I have my own show on the History Channel…or
      When I am a clue in the New York Times crossword


  2. Michele says:

    Eugene, you are too good for the History Channel. They make up half the stuff they show, and they are not witty.

    • Eugene Finerman says:

      So, Michele, think of how I would improve it. Besides, who else would broadcast Eugene’s History Variety Hour? Perhaps I could persuade the SciFi Network that the Byzantines were extra-terrestrials.

  1. There are no trackbacks for this post yet.

Leave a Reply