Your RDA of Irony

The Most Intriguing Ad of the Day

Hello.  Are you an emotional void or you haven’t master the basic tenets of courtesy?  Here is a company offering a substitute for your deficiencies. 

Speech-Writers Celebrates Your Son’s Big Day With High Toned Father of the Groom Speeches

Speech-writers**** makes the auspicious day of your son more memorable with outstanding collection of speeches for groom’s father. This online speech store offers the expediency to avail quick and easy speeches for every occasion.

We come up with excellent and meaningful father of the groom speeches to overwhelming your son and daughter in law with your speech. The auspicious occasion when your son is on his way to start off a new journey to life, your speech on the occasion can make the day more memorable. Available on the web as the best speech providers, we offers a variety of pre-written and customized speeches for almost all occasion.

Although it is a tough job to jot down your emotions in paper, there are professionals who can lessen the burden from your shoulder. There is no need to worry about preparing speeches because we offer the easiest and the best father of the groom speeches you can give on your son’s big day. Through this site, one can get a readymade way to deliver the proper form of speech on the significant occasion like wedding.

What the Hell, I’ll write you a free speech.  (Don’t tell Karen; she’d want me to charge you.  The woman insists on a middle-class standard of living.  You’d think my good looks, wit and obvious sensuality would suffice.)  But chivalry takes precedence over money; I have to protect you from any writer that says high-tone. 

Here is the speech–with your choice of options.

First, let me thank (name the clergy).  Your invocation was (your choice): poignantly poignant/almost plausible/surprising considering the sordid rumors about you.

Now, I don’t know most of you, but it doesn’t matter:  I am not paying  for this (your choice):  celebration of love and hope/bourgeois self-parody/confirmation of the bride’s pregnancy.  What does matter is that I know my son and I am sure that you can sense (your choice) my unspeakable pride/my moderate interest/my complete bewilderment with his heterosexual taste.

Let me just assure our newlyweds that before you is (your choice) everything promised in a Hallmark commercial/the ever-growing appreciation of separate bathrooms/the probability that your second marriages won’t be any better.

Thank you/God help you/Waiter, another scotch.

  1. MVC says:

    Thank you for bringing belly laugh humor into my day!

    • Eugene Finerman says:

      Rich and MVC,

      I am never at a loss for “inspiration”, but today I had the extra energy from leftover Halloween candy.

      Just imagine what Coleridge could have written after six Snickers bars.


  2. Rich Greb says:

    It make me weep of joy to know such sentimentals is on-line. Thank to those who make outsourcing possible on the international.

  3. Hal Gordon says:

    Eugene —

    Congratulations. This is probably the funniest piece of gender satire since Westbrook Pegler wrote a bogus Eleanor Roosevelt column about a home for unwed fathers.



  4. Peg Pruitt says:

    This is priceless, but I cannot help feeling sorry for the groom’s father who has but one shoulder. Do you suppose he tips over a lot?

    • Eugene Finerman says:


      That one-shouldered father might have pulled strings-or at least bell ropes–to have the wedding at Notre Dame Cathedral.

      I wonder who these “speechwriters” are? My guess is that they are 14 year-olds in Mumbai, who are already writing annual reports for Fortune 100 corporations. But is their English really so dreadful or are they sulking about losing the Sepoy Rebellion.


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