Your RDA of Irony

The Paleo-Riche

Stonehenge skeleton came from Mediterranean

LONDON — A wealthy young teenager buried near Britain’s mysterious Stonehenge monument came from the Mediterranean hundreds of miles away, scientists said Wednesday, proof of the site’s importance as a travel destination in prehistoric times.

The teen — dubbed “The Boy with the Amber Necklace” because he was unearthed with a cluster of amber beads around his neck — is one of several sets of foreign remains found around the ancient ring of imposing stones, whose exact purpose remains unknown.

The British Geological Survey’s Jane Evans said that the find, radiocarbon dated to 1,550 B.C., “highlights the diversity of people who came to Stonehenge from across Europe,” a statement backed by Bournemouth University’s Timothy Darvill, a Stonehenge scholar uninvolved with the discovery.

Historians believe that this is the earliest example of an over-the-top bar mitzvah.  “Imagine renting out Stonehenge. Someone made a fortune in goat futures.  Of course,  renting the Sphinx would have been even classier but you know how the Egyptians and Jews get along.”  

But the identity of the body raised a serious question.  “If you use the Bible as a Dun & Bradstreet, there is really only one family that could have splurged like this. So I’m afraid the teenage corpse is Isaac.  It figures.  The kid just escapes being sacrificed, and then he overdoses anyway.”

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