Your RDA of Irony


Japan, Checking on Its Oldest, Finds Many Gone

TOKYO — Japan has long boasted of having many of the world’s oldest people — testament, many here say, to a society with a superior diet and a commitment to its elderly that is unrivaled in the West.

That was before the police found the body of a man thought to be one of Japan’s oldest, at 111 years, mummified in his bed, dead for more than three decades. His daughter, now 81, hid his death to continue collecting his monthly pension payments, the police said.

Alarmed, local governments began sending teams to check on other elderly residents. What they found so far has been anything but encouraging. 

A woman thought to be Tokyo’s oldest, who would be 113, was last seen in the 1980s. Another woman, who would be the oldest in the world at 125, is also missing, and probably has been for a long time. When city officials tried to visit her at her registered address, they discovered that the site had been turned into a city park, in 1981.

TOKYO:  The Imperial Veterans’ Administration has announced that it will audit its listed number of survivors of the Russo-Japanese War.  VA officials now concede that its total of 350,000 veterans of the 1904-05 conflict might be inaccurate “although with our low cholesterol diet, it is not impossible.”

Given the statistical discrepancies, this might explain why none of the listed 120 veterans of the battle of Sekigahara attended the quadricentennial commemoration. 

On a related subject, the Harvard Alumni Association still intends to dun the family of the late Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto (class of  ’21) for contributions.  “We knew he has been dead for 68 years.  So what?  We’re still collecting for Cotton Mather.”

  1. Cindy Starks says:

    Eugene — This is too funny. I also saw the article in the NYT. Those Japanese are a funny bunch. Cindy Starks

    • Eugene Finerman says:

      Hi Cindy.

      Checking to see what havoc I’ve caused? So far the Japanese Embassy hasn’t complained. Of course, even it did, it would have to wait in line. The Turks are upset about my obvious pro-Byzantine stance; Spain is a little upset about my comments on the Inquisition. And no matter how pro-French I might be, it is never enough for them.

      I glad to hear from you.


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