Your RDA of Irony

Saturday Sundry

Abuse Scandal in Germany Edges Closer to Pope

 BERLIN — A widening child sexual abuse inquiry in Europe has landed at the doorstep of Pope Benedict XVI as a senior church official acknowledged Friday that a German archdiocese made “serious mistakes” in handling an abuse case while the pope served as its archbishop.

Papal Spokesman Eugenio Finermanni explained, “There was a good reason for making the choirboys wear see-through lederhosen.  Security!  The Church didn’t want the choir being infilitrated by Jews, Moslems or Lesbians.”

In the wake of this latest scandal, the Church announced its plans to beatify Chicago businessman Alphonse Capone.  “We are starting to appreciate him as a Catholic role model.”

Texas Conservatives Win Curriculum Change

 AUSTIN, Tex. — After three days of turbulent meetings, the Texas Board of Education on Friday approved a social studies curriculum that will put a conservative stamp on history and economics textbooks, stressing the superiority of American capitalism, questioning the Founding Fathers’ commitment to a purely secular government and presenting Republican political philosophies in a more positive light.

In recent years, board members have been locked in an ideological battle between a bloc of conservatives who question Darwin’s theory of evolution and believe the Founding Fathers were guided by Christian principles, and a handful of Democrats and moderate Republicans who have fought to preserve the teaching of Darwinism and the separation of church and state.

Since January, Republicans on the board have passed more than 100 amendments to the 120-page curriculum standards affecting history, sociology and economics courses from elementary to high school.

“We are adding balance,” said Dr. Don McLeroy, a dentist and the leader of the conservative faction on the board, after the vote. “History has already been skewed. Academia is skewed too far to the left.”

There were no historians, sociologists or economists consulted at the meetings, though some members of the conservative bloc held themselves out as experts on certain topics.

Texas students will learn that Charles Darwin was a New York liberal and that Marvin Luther King Jr. was a leader of the Black Panthers.  On the positive side, the students will be taught the Free Market economic philosophies of Frederick Hayek and Milton Friedman.  However, the textbooks will identify Hayek and Friedman as Christ-killing pawnbrokers.

p.s.  Let’s not forget the historic significance of this day:

  1. Bob Kincaid says:

    Me, I looked at the Slapping-the-Choirboys story and couldn’t help thinking of General Patton. After all, Patton had a penchant for former Nazis and so, too, apparently, does Mother Church.

  2. wimple says:

    Can we let TexAS become a republic again? Please?

  3. Michele says:

    I read somewhere yesterday that they are banning the word “capitalism” from Texas schoolbooks because they decided it’s a term that only communists use. “Free enterprise” is the only term they’ll go for.

    What makes all this so disturbing is that, for some reason*, Texas buys such a huge number of schoolbooks that publishers tend to make that version THE version and distribute it to all of the states.

    *I’m thinking they use them for firewood, or for that wall between Texas and Mexico.

  4. Eugene Finerman says:

    In Texas facts are an intrusion on history. Try to find the liberal bias in their account of the Alamo.

    Tejas–wasn’t that a shire in England?


  5. Kate says:

    Piety, Power and Privilege. Somehow there is a thread connecting these 2 stories. It is gettin tiresome. What’s with these boys in dresses? When we women put on black robes and chanted we got burned at the stake.

    And the folks in TX seem to all have fallen to prion disease. It’s not just a baptist thang, it’s a TX thang, all those open spaces, all that dust and those 72 oz steaks in Amarillo, made the poor souls a bit daft.

    baptists or catholics, poor thangs, bless ther harts, they think they the center of the Universe
    back to my chantin’ Blessed Be

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