Your RDA of Irony

King of Kings

McConnell Claims Larry King Is ‘Better’ Than U.S. Interrogators At Questioning Terrorists

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) today denigrated U.S. counterterrorism officials:

MCCONNELL: This was a person who was trying to blow a plane out of the air from Nigeria. It’s clearly a case for the military and for our intelligence people, not for the U.S. court system. What happened? He was given a 50 minute interrogation, probably Larry King has interrogated people longer and better than that. After which he was assigned a lawyer who told him to shut up. That is not the way to deal with someone in the war on terror.

After 50 minutes with Larry King, the terrorist would certainly divulge his five favorite June Allyson movies.

Several years ago, the  American Public had the privilege to eavesdrop  on two of the most profound theologians of our era: Larry King and Cathy Lee Gifford.

In a discussion of Mel Gospel’s “The Passion”, Cathy Lee said, “I have a gay Jewish friend and he didn’t have a problem with the film.” Cathy Lee then reassured Larry, “I don’t blame you for killing Jesus.”

No, more likely Larry King would have driven Jesus to murder. Just imagine the interview:

Larry King: Now, I understand you turned water into wine at a wedding. How was the food?

King of Kings: Well…

Larry King: Given your all-knowingness….

King of Kings: Omniscience….

Larry King: My point exactly! So, who’s funnier? Shecky Greene or Don Rickles?

And who can forget King’s interview with Defense Secretary Rumsfeld, especially since I won’t let you forget it.  Here from the archives….

In celebration of Larry King’s 800th anniversary in show business, CNN will attempt to compile an hour’s worth of coherent sentences. 

For example, who can forget his insightful questions when he moderated the Lincoln-Douglas debates.  Apparently, neither candidate could satisfactorily explain “Why does pastrami cost more than corned beef?” 

Yet, my all-time favorite was Larry’s interview with Donald Rumsfeld.
Larry King: You know that Rumsfeld sounds Jewish.

Rumsfeld: Please, I’m from Kenilworth.

Larry: Well, you know that Madeleine Albright didn’t realize that she was Jewish.

Rumsfeld: How did she avoid looking in mirrors? Couldn’t we talk about the Middle East?

Larry: Sure. Did you ever see “King Richard and the Crusaders“? Why doesn’t Hollywood nowadays have actresses like Virginia Mayo?

Rumsfeld: Well, she was a Republican….

Larry: You know, Mayo sounds Italian but it’s Irish.  On the other hand, Robert Stack really was Italian but he didn’t look it.

Rumsfeld: About the Middle East…

Larry: Did you ever see “Omar Khayyam“?

Rumsfeld: Yes, and this administration is fighting Michael Rennie’s terrorist organization to ensure that Raymond Massey, Cornel Wilde and Debra Paget can live in a free and democratic Iraq.

Larry: Cornel Wilde was Jewish, too.


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