Spam and Curry
First, my RDA of Spam:
Dear Sir/Madam, (Alas, I am at the age when the difference is becoming negligible.)
We have visited your website (www.finermanworks.com) and discovered that your product has amazing business potential through the website. (Yes, it isn’t amazing how many MBAs act Byzantine without the least idea who the Byzantines were. But, now with Finermanworks, major corporations can justify their incompetence and malfeasance with historical precedence. John Mack of Morgue Stagnant can compare himself to King John II at the battle of Poitiers: “I had no idea that the English knew archery.”)
But we found that your website is not registered in most of the leading search engines and directories, which is a great disadvantage. (Unfortunately, when potential customers do a computer search for “hot Swedish teenagers”, they rarely want discussions of Charles XII.)
We at Opal Infotech offer professional services to market your website. (Both my mother-in-law and my Rabbi tells everyone that I was on Jeopardy. I don’t see how you can do better than that.)
Thanking you
Ms. Madhu Jaggi
Madhu, by a remarkable coincidence, today’s RDA of Irony explains why your letter was not in French: https://finermanworks.com/your_rda_of_irony/2009/01/22/etiquette-and-empire/