Your RDA of Irony


November 19, 1863:  Abraham Lincoln Earns Another Page in Bartlett’s.

Abraham Lincoln had it easy.  True, he faced armed insurrection and assassination but at least he had the good timing to avoid modern media.  His critics only referred to him as a backwoods baboon.  What amateurs!  Imagine how the opposition would have covered the Gettysburg Address….

Why is Abraham Lincoln mocking our soldiers?  How many men were killed at his defeats at Bull Run, Fredericksburg and Chancellorsville?  But did he show up at their funeral?  Could he bother to offer his victims a few perfunctory words?  No.  But now is he trying to claim the credit for the victory at Gettysburg!  Here the men are “brave”, here they are “the honored dead,”  here it is “fitting and proper” to “hallow this ground.”  Just not at the battles you lost, huh Abe?

You say that this slaughter will bring us a “new birth of freedom.”   Yes, if anyone is left to enjoy it.  And how can we really trust the word of a man with no reverence for time-honored, Bible-sanctified property rights?   In a society without slaves, we all are slaves!

And that would have been one of the more respectful attacks, say from The Wall Street Journal.  Here is how Fox or Talk Radio would have reported the story.

Today, in a shameless display of his liberal values, Abraham Lincoln propositioned all men.



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