Sunday Sundry
We begin with a public service announcement.
HELP. I am living with a Cubs fan! For the last several few nights, I have gone to sleep listening to wails and shrieks. And I have awakened to the very same soundtrack. Let’s just say that the mood of Masada was much more chipper. I have tried consoling Karen that losing is part (actually all) of the Cubs’ charm. But I fear that my wife is so distraught that she now wants McCain to win; if the Cubs can’t win, no one deserves to survive.
Speaking of the Apocalypse, Costco has a product to tide you over. Karen and I were shopping there today, hoping to find Halloween candy that wasn’t a Melamine surprise from China. (This year, the candy will be more frightening than the costumes.) While wandering the aisles, we saw a display of white tubs labelled “Emergency Food Supply.” Containing 275 servings of such dehydrated delights as ‘ala king” (they don’t actually promise the chicken), cacciatore (the meat is anything you catch), and western stew (don’t be snobbish about cockroaches), all you add is boiled water. (And the radiation probably will do that for you.) Priced at only $99.95, “Emergency Food Supply” has a shelf life of 20 years! Given the economy and world events, I am not sure how many of us could make that claim.
I sympathize with Karen. Living in southeastern Massachusetts, I have been a Red Sox and Patriots fan for many years – for many painful, losing seasons. It’s just in the last few years that those teams have not been an embarrassment. It used to be a common sight to see a poster saying “wait til next year” displayed on opening day at Fenway.
I am waiting for the Tribune to blame Obama for the Cubs’ losses.
Blame the Jews
because everyone knows that Mossad
owns the White Sox and I rest my case
Magna:
In the old days, the Tribune certainly would have blamed Israel and Eleanor Roosevelt for the Cubs’ losses. However, since Sam Zell acquired the Tribune, the newspaper seems to have acquired a tolerance for Jews.
And then there’s my daughter, a Cubs fan who lives with a Brewers fan….