Your RDA of Irony

How to Win a Pennant

With the Tribune Cubs’ triumph in their regional division, Chicago is indulging in delusions of adequacy. Will this be the Cubs’ year to win the World Series? It has only been a century. At least, there are people who remember the team’s last pennant. It was in 1945–when the Cubs were playing against Italian prisoners-of-war.

Yes, the Cubs were competing against teams that were playing bocce. But at least the Italians were the most compatible for baseball. The Germans made miserable players; it is hard to run to base when goosestepping.  Worse, citing Nietzsche’s “Thus Sport Zarathustra”, they would kill anyone left on base.

The Japanese prisoners proved just as inappropriate. If the game was scheduled at 1 p.m., the Japanese would start at noon; they called it Surprise Baseball. Yet, while the Japanese had a remarkable advantage in the first inning, their games rarely lasted past the fourth. They had the habit of killing themselves if they struck out. It must be mentioned that the Japanese fielders were very good at camouflage. One of their players remained undiscovered in the Wrigley outfield until 1987.

In any case, today’s Chicago Cubs are ready to play–preferably against the same players of 1945.

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