Your RDA of Irony

Schedule a Book-Signing Party at Guantanamo

In his just published memoirs, ‘Not as Dumb as I Seem’, former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan admits that he was parroting the administration’s lies. “Yes, Iraq really didn’t bomb Pearl Harbor or cause the cancellation of ‘Hee Haw.’ But I thought everyone knew that. How gullible could the media be? Was I supposed to say, ‘Today, the President wants you to believe these whoppers?’ I had to say whatever they told me. Lynn Cheney threatened to hurt me.”

But the White House and Faux News were ready with their denials. “Who?” Dana Perino responded with convincing vacuity. Impartial political analyst Karl Rove said, “The book is an obvious forgery and the real Scott McClellan has been murdered and replaced by a terrorist clone who was grown in a secret Al Qaida lab at some Ivy League school–except Dartmouth, of course.”

Impartial political analyst Anne Coulter said, “If McClellan knew someone was lying, he owed it to the American people to personally kill the liar, and show the severed head to the media. It’s what I would have done. And it’s what I intend to do to McClellan.”

Added impartial political analyst Rove, “Why didn’t he alert the public when he was the Press Secretary? By not exposing me, the Vice President and the President as gleeful liars, McClellan is directly responsible for the war in Iraq, and the waste of a trillion dollars and the needless deaths of 4000 Americans. How can a man that guilty live with himself?”

  1. Shyanne says:

    Bravo! You are my hero!

  2. SwanShadow says:

    McClellan’s book represents the most heinous kind of political esprit l’escalier: telling the people the truth only when it’s too late to matter.

  3. And as Scott McClellan responded when accused of ‘esprit l’escalier’, “Oh yeah!”

  4. David says:

    Very good Eugene! We should all pay attention to Scotty while he is still alive. Me thinks FiveD Dick has asked for assignment of the ultimate NeoCon answering of Scotty. I’m betting FiveD will have somebody gift Scotty with that same isotope used on that suddenly moral Russki a year or so ago. That NeoCon crowd will want the message to be heard ’round the world.

  5. Peggles says:

    Could it be that McClellan belatedly grew a conscience? Do Republicans have those?

  6. Lee David says:

    Maybe the conscience numbing hypnosis wore off, or he grew immune to it, or he faked swallowing the lil’ red state pills that Nurse Cheney and Dr. Rove prescribed…yeah add him to the ’08 death pool short list-car accident, seafood poisoning/allergic reaction, crushed by falling gargoyle statue outside of NYC building as he leaves a NPR hosted book signing…

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