Your RDA of Irony

Philosopher Stone


Sharon Stone left Chinese journalists stunned at the Cannes Film Festival in France last week when she suggested the country’s recent earthquake was “karma.” The outspoken actress was talking to a Chinese media outlet on Thursday when she linked the recent disaster, which left more than 67,000 people dead, to China’s recent treatment of Tibetans.

Noted seismologist and historian Sharon Stone now explains the following disasters:

“The eruption of Mt. Vesuvius was the bad karmady resulting from throwing Christians to the lions. It was mean to the Christians and even worse for the lions having to digest them.”

“The Lisbon earthquake of 1755 was nature’s reaction to slavery in Brazil. Those slaves started doing the Samba, and Lisbon joined in.”

“In 1883, the explosion of Krakatoa in the Dutch East Indies and the extinction of the last quagga in the Amsterdam Zoo can’t be a coincidence.”

“The San Francisco Earthquake of 1906 was the karmic outrage that Leo Tolstoy had once again been passed over for the Nobel Prize in Literature. Can you believe that Giosue Carducci was that year’s winner? Nature obviously couldn’t.”

When asked why there were no earthquakes in Berlin or exploding Bavarian Alps during the 1930s, Ms. Stone guessed that Nature doesn’t like Jews, either.

  1. Rick says:

    Aw, c’mon Eugene, give her some credit, she beat Bono and Sting to the punch. Perhaps she should change her name to just “Stone.”

  2. Lee David says:

    And Mt. St.Helens was karma’s comment on Starbucks and their pursuit of world coffee domination

  3. Jason says:

    Did anyone think to ask the oracle for her explanation of the destruction of New Orleans and of the Indian Ocean Tsunami? Come to think of it, Chicago, San Francisco Washington, D. C., Atlanta, Galveston and New Orleans have all been partially or totally devastated within the history of the American republic. What was the cause for these disasters?

  4. Rick says:

    Jason, those disasters, if karmically related, were probably caused by The Oracle’s (I like this name a lot better than “Stone”) performance in either Basic Instinct 2 or Catwoman. Or maybe a combination of both.

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