Your RDA of Irony

Mourning Becomes Eclectic

Irvine Robbins, co-founder of Baskin-Robbins, is now a root bier float. Of course, I am inconsolable. If you want one difference between Shintoism and Judaism, I am not expect to disembowel myself with an ice scoop. But I may do so anyway. The closest I have come to being a gigolo–so far–is that in college I dated a lady who worked at Baskin-Robbins. Is it a coincidence that we broke up soon after she quit that job?

And here is another reason for grief. I am now paying as much for one gallon of gasoline as it once cost to fill up the tank. I am experiencing similar pain in the price of soda and ice cream (the staples of my life). Karen assures me that the other food items–the things that mature adults are supposed to eat–are also increasingly expensive.

Yet, according the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there is no over-all increase in inflation. Now, why would I have any reason to doubt the honesty or accuracy of the Bush adminstration? I am sure that the government statistics reflect some unique calculations. For example, the price of furniture has not increased over the last year. So, we savvy savers can buy a bed equipped with wheels, use the frame as a vehicle and eat the mattress.

Furthermore, the statistics tell us that there are some great bargains down there. The price of many stocks have gone down. A share of Ford or Bear-Stearns is less than a pound of steak. (In fact, those companies may soon be competing with the price of chicken.). Why, the dollar itself is a bargain: just 50 percent of what it used to cost. Ask any foreigner–he’ll agree after he stops laughing.

  1. Bob Kincaid says:

    Introducing the Cuisinart ICE-50BC. No bowl-freezing, no cranking, no ice. Just professional ice cream every time! And at $300, it will pay for itself after fifty batches!

    Funny you should mention this, Eugene. I, too, consiner ice cream its own food group. Heck, for me, it’s its own $100,000 Food Pyramid, with the added benefit of NO Dick Clark! And I promise you, it’s the best thing your stimulus check could do for you!

  2. Rothgar says:

    Except maybe Help the HORN.

    Remember Bob, pitch, pitch, pitch.

  3. Bob Kincaid says:

    I’m Soooooo not good at pitching! I’m more of a utility infielder.

    Thanks for the reminder. 😉

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