Your RDA of Irony

Making Change

To strengthen the declining dollar and our education system, Presidential candidate John McCain advocated increasing the value of the five dollar bill to sixteen dollars. “Lincoln was the 16th President, and that is the dollar bill he deserves to be on. How many people are under the impression that Lincoln was our fifth president? How many people think that Alexander Hamilton was our tenth? I know that I was confused. Let’s teach our children history while we are improving the economy.” McCain recommended that John Tyler be on the ten dollar bill, James Garfield on the twenty, Calvin Coolidge on the thirty and Ronald Reagan on the forty.”

Reporters asked if the fifty dollar and hundred dollar bills would be discontinued until we had a 50th and 100th President. McCain smiled and ate three donuts while conferring with his advisors. He then responded, “The $50 and $100 bills are pledges that there will be a 50th and 100th president. And in the meantime, we will have pictures of whoever won the 50th and 100th World Series.”

He was then asked if Grover Cleveland would be on both the $22 and $24 bills. This answer required another two donuts but McCain eventually answered, “Cleveland won’t be on either. Democrats can’t be trusted with our money.”

  1. SwanShadow says:

    McCain specifically mentioned Tyler, Garfield, Coolidge, and Reagan because he knew all four of them personally.

  2. Hal Gordon says:

    For shame! Outrageous libel against Grover Cleveland. He backed the gold standard. Our money would be safer in his care than in the hands of most Republicans today.


  3. Bob Kincaid says:

    So that puts Jefferson on the three dollar bill. That’s sure gonna require a re-thinking of a dandy old slur.

  4. Jefferson will be on the three cent coin.

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