Your RDA of Irony

Putting the Fun in Fundamentalist

If politics make strange bedfellows, imagine what John McCain could contract from Rev. John Hagee. McCain claimed to be delighted by the endorsement of the fundamentalist fulminator Hagee. However, Hagee has a very vociferous history of Anti-Catholicism; he refers to the Church as “The Anti-Christ” and “The Whore of Rome”. He denounces the Church for 800 years of tyranny and depravity. (Why not 1300 years of abominations? Hagee apparently does not recognize the Church-sponsored Gregorian Calendar, so he refuses to recognize any year after 1582.)

As you probably have guessed, Mr. Hagee is not likely to be named The Knights of Columbus’ Man of the Year. The always indignant William Donahue–the Torquemada of the Catholic League–has denounced Hagee as a Hollywood Jew. (Mr. Donahue has a very limited repertoire of stereotypes.) Of course, the Mainstream Media have demonstrated their unusual diligence, demanding to know which side Barak Obama would have preferred in the Crusades. This diversion leaves the McCain campaign the chance to come up with a pleasant explanation for Rev. Hagee’s colorful opinions. I imagine it will be this…

“The Whore of Rome” is really a compliment. Whom would you find more appealing? The Whore of Rome, the Tart of Canterbury, the Trollop of Geneva, or the Real Friendly Waitress of Salt Lake City? Would you want to go to a Methodist orgy? Trust me, you’d only attend a Jewish orgy for the food. If you think that religions are synonymous with brothels, wouldn’t you prefer a bordello decorated by Michelangelo and Raphael? (The Protestant idea of art is Tiffany lamps!) Yes, 800 years may be a little old for a whore, but Italians age well. Who would be your septagenarian fantasy: Sophia Loren or Judy Dench?

So, Rev. Hagee could have been praising the Catholic Church for its extrovert charm. And, if he wasn’t, the Right Reverend is just jealous.

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