Your RDA of Irony

Political Medley

Act I: The Democratic Debate

If out of desperation you watched last night’s debate among the Democratic candidates, you may have noticed a slight bias on the part of NBC media.

Brian Williams: Joining us tonight will be Senator Barak Obama, former Senator John Edwards and–because Margaret Hamilton is unavailable–mean old Mrs. Clinton. Tim Russert will join me in the questions. I will start. Senator Barak, what if I told you Senator Clinton has compared you to Butterfly McQueen?

Sen. Barak: Well, I am too thin to be Hattie McDaniels. And in today’s America I can dream of being Rhett Butler.

Tim Russert: Sen. Clinton, how do expect us to believe that you wouldn’t have said that?

Sen. Clinton: You just are trying to make me cry again.

Tim Russert: And would you cry if I told you that Chelsea was just murdered.

Sen. Clinton: I don’t believe you. It’s not a sweeps month.

Brian Williams: Senator Edwards, did you know that Michelle Obama and Bill Clinton are having an affair?

Act II: Willard Romney Wins Something

Putting together a coalition of “Golfers for Eisenhower” and “Gilbert & Sullivan Amateur Societies”, Willard Romney won the Michigan Primary. It was noted that the ballot had been changed, asking Republican voters their choice for Scoutmaster, but Romney nonetheless won.

In his victory speech, Mr. Romney offered his vision of America. “I’ll bring us back to the days when we used more oil in our hair than in our cars. And a great America is a clean America. So no more naughty words. Let’s limit our vocabulary to what you would have heard on “Leave It to Beaver”.

Act III: President God

Governor Mike Huckabee announced his intention to replace the Constitution with the Bible. He regretted the necessity of stoning anyone for adultery or eating pork, but the Law required it. Huckabee also mentioned that slavery would again be permissible but only six days a week. Under President Huckabee, Protestantism would not be compulsory; Catholics and Jews would just be registered as idolators. However, Moslems would have to be slaughtered.

Although his political platform might seem horrifying, Mr. Huckabee announced it in such a folksy, engaging manner that no one seemed to mind.

  1. David says:

    Dear Eugene, You may have neglected the third leg of Willard’s stool while mentioning the two. Likely that third leg was fun loving Democratic pranksters crossing over. They just could not go another day without seeing Willard’s surgically installed full smile. It’s the LED’s inside each front tooth that give it that special luminescence.

  2. Bob Kincaid says:

    “OK, Democrats! Tough question time! Senator Obama! Puppies or kitties? Which are better?

    Senator Clinton! If you were a car, what kind of car would you be?

    Senator Edwards! WTF are you doing here, you replusive white male establishmentarian elitist? Oppressor! Why do you want to keep Senators Obama and Clinton down? And when did you stop beating your wife? Ever seen a UFO?

  3. President Huckabee’s new constitution will be the Bill of Rites.

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