Your RDA of Irony

The War Against Christmas: 1776

On this day in 1776, George Washington proved himself to be an immoral secular humanist by ruining a British Christmas party. While the Hessian garrison in Trenton, New Jersey was celebrating the birth of Jesus by compressing the 12 days of Christmas into one hangover, the irreverent Continental army crossed the Delaware River and attacked. We all know the painting of that Freemason Washington standing in a boat as his men rowed to battle. Of course, truly devout Americans would have walked upon the water.

Yes, the Americans won that day, but the Continental Congress should have disavowed such godless cheating. Why wasn’t George Washington court-martialed for his impiety? In fact, as an apology to Jesus, we should have called the Revolution off.

  1. Rothgar says:

    Ahh surely we’ve gotten the dates wrong. We know our country was founded by only the most pious of Christians. 😉
    We all know that, for if the religion industry says it, it most be so. Happy Holidays from a Christian (I think).

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