The Straight and Narrow
According to that endearing reactionary Mike Huckabee, “Homosexuality could pose a public health risk.” So, with a straight face (any other face could cause AIDS), I can predict the following medical prescriptions of a Huckabee Presidency.
To discourage Tchaikovsky’s influence on our youth, high school bands should not play “The 1812 Overture.” You can get AIDS from sharing phonograph needles.
Corn on the cob is just too suggestive.
No respectable person needs more than eight colors in a Crayola box. That so-called variety just encourages deviation; and the sixty-four pack guarantees it. Burnt Sienna leads to burnt Gomorrah.
The Catholic Church must stop celebrating Communion until the FDA determines exactly what part of Jesus is being served.