Your RDA of Irony

Mitt Romney’s Demographic Government

When asked if he’d consider having a Muslim in the Cabinet, Mitt Romney replied, “Based on the numbers of American Muslims … in our population, I cannot see that a cabinet position would be justified.”

American Muslims do constitute less than two percent of the U.S. population. With just 16 seats in the Cabinet, a Romney appointee would have to represent a constituency of at least six percent. Sorry, Jews, you are out of the Romney Cabinet, too. (Just be content with ten percent of American doctors.)

Here is the official ancestry of the Romney cabinet: two and a half Germans, two Irish, two African, one real Angle-Saxon (no Scandinavian substitutes), one legal Mexican and one Italian. Four of the members of the cabinet will be Catholic, two will be Baptist, eight will be the variety pack of Protestant, and two won’t give a damn.

The Romney cabinet would also need one or two homosexuals; only one has to admit it. Twenty-five percent of the cabinet will be undeniably fat. Only one cabinet member will be alcoholic (this might be a drastic reduction). One third of the cabinet members will experience sexual dysfunction, preferably during the cabinet meetings.

And, since Mormons constitute less than six percent of the U.S. population, President Romney would not be allowed at Cabinet meetings.

  1. Peg Pruitt says:

    Every time Ben Carson opens his mouth, more garbage pours out. Someone needs to read Article VI of the Constitution to him.

    I’m not sure the percentages of the imaginary (thank God) Romney cabinet are the same today, but they’re probably pretty close. My favorite component is the two and a half Germans. Would two adults e a dwarf count?

  2. Jamus says:

    Eugene – stop making me laugh so hard – Malcom Muggeridge established humor to be godley but the Puritans were also known as godley… – Who was the brilliant early 20th c. humorist that wrote: “Puritans live in dreadful fear that someone, somewhere, is having a good time?”
    Cheers ~`j

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