CSI: Ontario
I read the Chicago Tribune for the funnies. (No, I am not referring to the Op-Ed page, where the unintentional jokes always have same punchline: it is all Franklin Roosevelt’s fault.) I might even admit to being addicted. When I was a Eurrail pass vagabond in Europe, way back in ’75, I had my mother save me each day’s comic days. That was an 11 month accumulation.
In fact, comic strips are almost my vicarious family. Dilbert is practically my twin, Cathy is my sister, and Brenda Starr is my transsexual brother. So I was distressed to learn of a crisis in the family: in “For Better or Worse” mom and dad may be getting a divorce. The strip’s creator Lynn Johnston is said to use her three-dimensional existence as the basis of her storylines. She is married to a Canadian dentist; so is the strip’s main character Elly Patterson. Mrs. Patterson is undergoing menopause; I can take a wild guess about Ms. Johnston’s hormone balance. Unfortunately, in Ms. Johnston’s real life, her husband is leaving her for another woman; in yesterday’s strip, our heroine dreams exactly that.
While Ms. Johnston can certainly afford a ruthless divorce attorney, Mrs. Patterson probably cannot. However, she is entitled to help from her fellow cartoons. Cathy, Broomhilda and Blondie could form a support group (assuming none of them is the one having the affair with the dentist). Better yet, Dick Tracy could give Mrs. Patterson the name of a hired killer.
Beetle Bailey could finally put his martial arts to profitable use.
what would nancy do?
She should get out of her abusive relationship with Sluggo.
Dr. Philistine
Garfield could bite and scratch the not-so-good doctor’s ankles, and Odie could drool on his shoes.
You need to think bigger – Hagar could finally show why he is indeed Horrible.
Anyone else ever wonder why Dik Browne named his Viking after the Bible’s most famous live-in mistress?