Your RDA of Irony

Nun Entity

Today is the birthday of my wife and the feast day of St. Osyth. You may wonder which of the two is the greater martyr?

St. Osyth
Feastday: October 7

Martyred nun, also called Osith and Sytha. Known mainly through legends, she was supposedly the daughter of a chieftain of the Mercians in England and Wilburga, daughter of the powerful pagan king Penda of Mercia. Raised in a convent, Osyth desired to become a nun but was married against her will to King Sighere of Essex, by whom she had a son. Eventually, she won his permission to enter a convent, and she established a monastery on land at Chich, Essex, donated by Sighere, where she served as an abbess. She was reputedly slain by Danish raiders and is thus depicted in art as carrying her own head. There are historical difficulties associated with her existence, especially as no mention is made of her by Bede in his Ecclesiastical History.

This sounds like an episode of CSI: Essex.

Detective Aeugene had a few questions and King Sighere looked a little uneasy.

Aeugene: So you say that you were separated from your wife, but no one has ever heard of her. And that she was killed by the Vikings even though they won’t be here for another hundred years. And you just collected double indemnity from the insurance company.

Sighere: How about if I donate all the money to the Church?

Pope John VI: Sold!

Aeugene: You’re letting him get away with fraud.

John VI: But that is better than murder if she actually existed. And it’s fraud in a good cause. I’m still paying off the bribes for my election.

Aeugene: It is still fraud.

John VI: I have the power to make her a saint and you a traffic cop in Wales.

Aeugene: Case closed.

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