Your RDA of Irony

Graves Robbing

DiCaprio Tapped In To Star On Film Version Of “I, Claudius

New York, NY (CNS) – Three-time academy award nominated actor Leonardo DiCaprio is in talks to star in the big screen adaptation of the Robert Graves’ novel “I, Claudius.” Scott Rudin, whose credits include “The Queen” and “Notes On A Scandal,” is reported to have paid almost $2 million for the rights to the work that deals sympathetically with the life of the fourth Roman Emperor Claudius.

Dear Mr. Rudin,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

No one would mind a remake of “Demetrius and the Gladiators”: Vin Diesel as Demetrius, Katie Holmes as Messalina, Morgan Freeman as St. Peter and DiCaprio as Caligula.

Or a remake of “Quo Vadis.” It has been six months since the last version.

But please leave “I, Claudius” alone. I concede that the BBC miniseries lacked battle scenes, special effects and D-cup actresses. It just had a marvelous script and brilliant acting presented over 13 episodes.
“I, Claudius” was a 12 hour masterpiece, and it cannot be supplanted by two hours of pizzaz.

Mr. Rudin, if you are determined to see Leonardo DiCaprio in a tunic, what about a remake of “Ben Hur”? At least, that would have the benefit of offending the NRA.

Sincerely (possibly threateningly) yours,

Eugene

  1. Bob Kincaid says:

    While DiCaprio is among the less odious of the younger Hollywood set, I concur.

    Unless you’re going to do it “Lord of the Rings” style, releasing a different Emperor’s story every year through Clavdivs, I don’t see it being able to carry the requisite freight.

    But is the BBC series even available these days?

  2. I imagine that the PBS gift shop sells the complete set. It has to be a best seller than Brian Greene’s “Wonderful World of String Theory”. You also can order it from bookstore chains as well.

    And, if you ever find yourself in my neighborhood, drop in and we can watch my “I Claudius” set. (I have only seen it five times, so I have not quite memorized all the dialogue.)

  1. There are no trackbacks for this post yet.

Leave a Reply