Your RDA of Irony

For Whom the Belch Tolls


Associated Press

August 17,2007 | BEIJING — City officials yanked hundreds of thousands of cars off Beijing’s streets Friday to test whether a partial car ban could clear health-threatening smog and ease gridlock during next year’s Olympic Games.

The test is a challenge for Beijing Olympic organizers and city authorities to see if they can balance the need to dampen severe pollution without angering a growing middle class. “

To improve the environment of Beijing, city officials will ban bodily functions two months before the Olympics. The ban is to be applied within one hundred miles of the city. Health Commissar Toc Sun explained the “no emissions policy” which is being promoted in a cheerful advertising campaign “Life in the Fasting Lane.” “We already have The Yellow River, and that is what it is there for.” Reporters noting that the River was 300 miles away were promptly executed.

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