Prima Facie/Facetious
“POLICE REPORT: Rhames’ Dogs May Not Have Caused Death
A caretaker who was found dead Friday on Ving Rhames’ Brentwood property after being mauled by the actor’s dogs may not have died from the wounds he suffered in the attack, Los Angeles authorities say. The 40-year-old man, whose name has not yet been released, was covered in dog bites, according to police, but it could have been a heart attack or other medical condition that actually killed him. “
CSI BRENTWOOD:
Police investigators reopened the case of a Mr. Louis Bourbon, Jr, Jr. Jr. Jr. A preliminary report indicated that the deceased had deceased as the result of a guillotine. Upon further investigation, however, police now speculate that Mr. Bourbon may have died of a heart attack. “He was unusually heavy for a 38 year-old, and he seemed to be in a very stressful situation.”
In another revised autopsy, Brentwood police now believed that Leon Trotsky died of a delayed case of Tay-Sachs Disease.